Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize