i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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