Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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