my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
