I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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