I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
