i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize