I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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