She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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