oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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