I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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