i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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