Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
