So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
