Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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