marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
