She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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