Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
