So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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