Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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