So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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