Sponge bath it is.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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