i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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