You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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