TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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