There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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