my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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