He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I lost the right to judge tonight
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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