I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got inside last night via doggy door
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
