If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?