I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.