I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
