I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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