Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
