summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
