We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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