Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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