taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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