it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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