you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize