i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
