To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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