yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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