Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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