We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
