his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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