It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
