DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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