Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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