it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
