I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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