Princesses don't give blow jobs
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We had sex on a dog bed..
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize