Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
