I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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