dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
