I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize