i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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