Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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