a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Someone came in the potted fern
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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