The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize