so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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