I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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