he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
